09-2016

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Bring Out The Best In Yourself And Others


September 29th, 2016

Hello, Fellow Traveler

Welcome to Thriving Edge News, successor to The Trailblazer. Following several smaller tweaks I made to The Trailblazer along the way, it was time for a larger scale adjustment, so I’ve changed the title and focus to match my current market. Growing and adapting is a key to Thriving!

So is the ability to keep going in difficult times and recover from setbacks. It’s called Resilience. I’ve had a taste of why that matters this week as I recover from a minor medical procedure. Okay, minor is what I had in mind when I went in for day surgery last Friday. I thought after the weekend I’d be fine!

Turns out I’m doing great, very gratefully on the leading edge of the recovery curve. I’ve had very little pain and within a couple of days was moving around pretty well. But my energy is not recovering quickly. The whole “get better” timeline I was given was about pain and mobility, but I thought it included energy. Energy returning will take a week or two, maybe longer.

I’m doing what was recommended to boost my physical resilience. I even took some steps beforehand to get in better health to be able to recover faster. It’s all been helpful. The main thing that isn’t rebounding is my patience!

Our inner selves need resilience just like our physical selves do. We can take steps to become more mentally and emotionally resilient, and we can employ techniques that promote inner resilience when we’re facing challenging times.

7 Paths to Resilience

Incorporating the principles of Positive Psychology into your life will boost your Resilience. Resilience is one of the main benefits of a life well lived. But there are some approaches that have an especially strong effect on boosting Resilience, both preparing you beforehand to bounce back more quickly and providing strategies to employ intentionally when you’ve been knocked down.

Get Good at Positivity
Positivity refers to positive emotions. This concept comes from researcher Barbara Fredrickson, PhD. It means you are intentionally aware of your positive emotions so you can experience far more positive than negative or unpleasant emotions. Positivity brings enormous benefits in emotional and physical health, but chief among them is the ability to shift your mindset and moodset by creating an upward spiral as you focus on enjoying the moment.

Get Good at Savoring
Savoring is Positivity with a turbo-charger. To savor means to open yourself up to a richer experience by being mindfully present in the moment and aware of the nuanced ways positive experiences are affecting you. As you walk the hiking trail you notice all the details of sights, sounds, smells, temperature, the wind on your face, the trail beneath your shoe, and your own emotional energy. When you tune in at this level, you amplify Positivity and create powerful, detailed memories you can call up when you need a boost.

Develop Agility with Difficult Thoughts and Feelings
Positivity is not the only thing you’re going to experience. Difficult, challenging thoughts and feelings are part of life, especially during rougher times. They don’t go away when we try to ignore them. Instead, we need a strategy for managing them. The most effectives ones include:

  • Self-awareness to identify them as they show up
  • A mindfulness practice to be present in the moment so you don’t get overwhelmed by them
  • The ability to visualize them flowing through you and away

Get Good at Using Your VIA Signature Strengths
There is a marvelous amount of research on the Values In Action (VIA) Character Strengths to show how they boost well-being, success, and resilience. Your Signature Strengths are your “go-to” top strengths. Learn them and make friends with them. Design a path forward that uses your strengths and you will create more energy, be more successful, and enjoy your path more. Free and paid versions of the assessment are available by clicking here.

Become an Historian of the Best of You
A very powerful and practical exercise is to think of a time when you were at your best, facing adversity but rising to the challenge. Amplify the memory so you can identify your strengths, your talents, and your traits that came together to create a good outcome. Another internally strengthening exercise is to employ a growth mindset and look for ways you are learning and getting better. This nearly always happens by facing challenges and stumbling, then getting up and trying again. Knowing your personal history of growth and the source of your successes will lift you up when you’re weary.

Develop Agility in Connecting with Others
Barbara Fredrickson has also shown that sharing moments of strong emotional connection with someone lifts your mood, changes your perspective, and opens up creativity rapidly. It inoculates your emotional heart against stress. Additional research shows that in moments of connection our bodies release oxytocin, the “bonding” hormone, which inoculates your physical heart against stress. These moments of connection can be with people close to you, acquaintances, or even people who start out as strangers. Develop a habit of reaching out and engaging with people to boost your physical and emotional heart as well as theirs.

Build Meaningful Relationships
As great as it will be to have the ability to connect with someone any time, there are special benefits in cultivating long-term, deeper relationships. The emotional experience is richer so all the benefits of Positivity and connection can be richer. Your shared history even makes it possible to experience some of those benefits by thinking about the other person. Having a shared history also means they can remind you of what you’re capable of when you’re mired in the muck and struggling to move ahead. And they’ll know ways to lift your spirits quickly with the right words, a great story, or a shared laugh.

Apply it: Incorporate these recommendations into your life and you will set the foundation for mental and emotional agility that will allow you to rebound from adversity more easily. Leverage one or more of these techniques during a challenging time to boost your recovery from a setback.

There’s a popular unattributed quote floating around on social media: “Life doesn’t get easier. You get stronger.” I’d like to add “and more resilient.”

Growth builds resilience. You become more capable and more agile to handle what comes your way.

May you be well, may you do well, and may you Thrive!

Take Care,

Stephen Coxsey, MA, PCC
Professional Certified Coach (ICF)
Strategist on Thriving Throughout Life

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About Steve Coxsey

Steve collaborates with people to design and implement a customized plan for success, fulfillment, and well-being for themselves and the people they lead. They thrive on a personally meaningful path and promote a culture of thriving wherever they are in charge, from families to professions, from small businesses to organizations.

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