Hello, Trailblazer!

Last month as I wrote you, I was getting ready to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens. It’s a tale about the struggle between good and evil for control of a galaxy far, far away, while an elusive hero, who embodies all that those who desire good are seeking, is nowhere to be found. This month, news is focused on the beginning of caucuses and primaries in the presidential race in the U.S. and the same themes dominate.

Find a Champion or be your own Hero
I think there is a deep, built-in tension in our psyches between longing for a champion and becoming the hero ourselves. Some theories of development say that the stories that draw us to them, especially the common underlying archetypal themes, represent what goes on inside each of us as we develop. The longing for a champion to arrive to defend us is a longing for the champion nature in the self to appear. Rooting for the hero is rooting for those qualities to grow and be expressed in ourselves.

Of course, when you are opposing powerful forces of darkness, it’s hard to see the hero in yourself or your own champion nature. Someone powerful enough to defeat evil must be a mythical figure, greater and far more powerful than you. But enough about political elections, which I know are boring to many.

Cultivating your Hero ability
The path of self development is the path of growing the hero within, of preparing and training to be a champion for oneself and for others. It is about developing the agility, intentionality, and resourcefulness to act with precision, elegance, and flowing ease in demanding situations.

It is about developing your agency, your ability to actualize your will by shaping the environment around you. It is about continuously becoming more masterful so that you are more and more capable of being your best and doing your best in service of your beliefs and values.

Agile, Intentional, Resourceful…
I’m looking for a word to capture this state of being an agile, intentional, resourceful, flexible decision-making agent with grace and ease on the path to becoming a master. This state is the pinnacle of human development, that to which we aspire and that which we wish for our children. It is the state we see made real in our heroes and champions. It is the powerful ability to act rightly that comes from wholeness.

It is the power to achieve and create whatever you really want.

Whatever You Want

“You can be whatever you want to be.”

“You can do whatever you want.”

“You can have whatever your heart desires.”

Is this true? Or is this the stuff of fairy tales? There seems to be a big divide on the answer. One extreme believes that focusing the mind on what you wish for will metaphysically align the energy field of the universe to provide it, without personal effort. The opposite extreme believes you get your lot in life and can’t really change it and have to accept your circumstances.

A call to action
The truth is probably not in the extremes. Whenever one of my sons would see something and say, “Ooh, I want that!” we would have a conversation that became a pattern. I would ask if they meant they hoped something would magically intervene and give it to them, or if they meant they would commit themselves to working towards acquiring it. I called the magical intervention “wishing” and the intention to work towards a goal “wanting.”

I know not everyone agrees with the distinction in words. I also know not everyone agrees with the idea.

In defense of effort, even intense effort
A section of my original blog-based e-zine was called “Striving and Thriving.” I mentioned this once when talking with a group of people looking to design their own businesses because self-employment was the focus of those pieces. One woman in the group disliked that name and said, “Oh, I don’t want to strive. I want it all to come easily.”

Good luck with that! Her comment has haunted me ever since. I am concerned that there are people who too easily believe that mindset and intention somehow grant access to a magical genie who will grant wishes. I believe that’s a self-defeating way to proceed. Combining a focused mindset and intention with committed effort is the path to achieving goals.

“Strive” means to work hard towards a goal. It doesn’t mean work frantically or desperately without success. It means to give it your all, like you mean it. That is the kind of wanting that is the call of the heart.

Wanting as an organizing function
Mindset and intention provide focus to your own thoughts and actions. Your thoughts and actions are key ingredients. When you focus on what you want, you tune your mind to change the way it filters information. We ignore a huge amount of information all the time because our executive mind is filtering out everything that seems irrelevant. Mindset and intention tell the filter what to look for and keep. With your filter tuned you will hear related examples and become aware of people on a similar path who can help.

Mindset and intention also build motivation for action. Keeping a long-term focus on what you desire will keep you connected with the reasons you desire it. When it is true desire, it comes from your heart. This isn’t about romantic fantasies. Romance is not all your heart desires, and really, a lot of romantic fantasies don’t come from the heart. They come from ego. But that’s another discussion.

Yearning comes from your Core Self
Your heart is the place of your true self, your collection of gifts, talents, and strengths that create your deep values and passions. What you truly desire flows from your heart. It is a call from your heart to express the truth of who you are.

Yearnings for fame and great fortune are not calls of the heart. The heart calls from wholeness, or a desire for wholeness, and from a draw to connection with others. It calls for meaningful action that expresses purpose. Being idolized or living a life of self-pampering ease doesn’t resonate with a heart purpose. These wishes just represent fantasies of the ego wanting to be more important.

Realizing your heart’s desire
Can you be whatever you want to be? Can you do whatever you want to do? Can you have your heart’s desire? The more you discover the nature of your gifts, talents, strengths, and passions, the more able you become to do so.

You can identify and develop your strengths and talents. You can recognize what is unique about how you interact with people and with the world around you, what I call your natural way of being. You can see how your developed strengths and talents and your natural way of being create something new in the world, connect people to one another and to resources, and point to solutions for problems. You can develop your skills and abilities to be able to express your core self as fully as you can in connection with others.

When you do this, you will have your heart’s desire. Because your heart’s desire is to be integrated and whole, fully developed, and using your gifts and talents to express your passions in service of your values and in connection with others.

Apply it: What is waiting to be discovered in you?

May you be agile, intentional, resourceful – I really need to find that word! – on your trail.

Take Care,

Stephen Coxsey, MA, PCC
Professional Certified Coach (ICF)
Self Empowerment and Leadership

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About Steve Coxsey

Steve collaborates with his clients to design and implement a customized plan for success, well-being, and fulfillment for themselves and the people they lead. They thrive on a personally meaningful path and instill a culture of thriving wherever they lead.

Steve is a supportive ally to his clients. They are typically people in charge who have to juggle competing responsibilities in a variety of roles. They have a compelling vision of what they would like to create or accomplish and are committed to turning it into reality. To make that happen, they develop the agilities of leadership to be able to empower and direct themselves, craft meaningful work, and inspire others.

Would you like that to be you?

Are you ready for a creative, dynamic, collaborative partnership focused on turning your vision into results?

Get started with a no-risk 30-40 minute consultation. It’s complimentary, so all it will cost you is a little bit of time. You can schedule the complimentary call using this online tool. You can also call 817-416-8971 or e-mail Steve@SteveCoxsey.com to set up the call.

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